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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24263308">Long-Distance Love Affair</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepyourpantsongohan/pseuds/keepyourpantsongohan'>keepyourpantsongohan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But Technically Canon Compliant Since They Have Phones Now, Established Relationship, Hokage Hatake Kakashi, Humour, Innuendo, KakaYama Week 2020, M/M, Modern AU, Nebulous Time Period, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Romance, implied sexting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:00:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24263308</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepyourpantsongohan/pseuds/keepyourpantsongohan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Kakashi:</b> U told me you wanted me to communicate my feelings more<br/><b>Yamato</b> And you’re delivering these feelings via cipher? <br/><b>Kakashi:</b> The key will be released to u in the event of my death<br/><b>Yamato:</b>  It’s like dating a bingo book.<br/><b>Kakashi:</b> Quit flirting with ur hokage, Tenzō</p><p>(Kakayama Week 2020 Day 1: Modern AU)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>211</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Long-Distance Love Affair</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Presidents exist in the Naruto universe; jury's still out on Beyoncé.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Yamato to Hokage Senpai:</b> I’m back in Konoha; I’ll be by your office in a few.</p><p><b>Hatake Kakashi to Handsome Taichō:</b> 👀🤝👘😜👽💍🥥🏒😍</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> What does that mean?</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>📯🔩📆🍱🎉✨🌳</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Kakashi. </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>U told me you wanted me to communicate my feelings more</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>And you’re delivering these feelings via cipher? </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>The key will be released to u in the event of my death</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> It’s like dating a bingo book.</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Quit flirting with ur hokage, Tenzō</p><hr/><p><b>Hatake Kakashi to Team Sasuke Charge Your Phone:</b> Team dinner 2nite</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Alright. What time?</p><p><b>Sakura: </b>what if i had plans sensei</p><p><b>Naruto:</b> RAMEN</p><p><b>Sai:</b> Despite your short notice invitation, Kakashi, I would enjoy a social outing with our teammates.</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Thank u, Sai. Naruto, we can eat ramen as long as u have a plate of vegetables separately, so I know u won’t lose ur ability to digest greens</p><p><b>Naruto: </b>seaweed is green!!!!</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>That really shouldn’t be the lesson here. </p><p><b>Naruto:</b> i’m learning to cook! i eat at least one serving of vegetables a WEEK</p><p><b>Sakura: </b>how are you even alive?!</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>NARUTO. </p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> Hmmmm </p><p>
  <em>Sai liked “i’m learning to cook! i eat at least one serving of vegetables a WEEK.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yamato changed the chat name to Team Naruto Please Call a Dietitian.</em>
</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> Naruto, I think you should have TWO plates of vegetables 2nite</p><p><b>Sakura: </b>i didn’t agree yet. i could have plans!!</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Do u?</p><p><b>Sakura: </b>no, but i could. this is why you should tell us things in advance</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>It is in advance. Of dinner time </p><p><b>Sakura: </b>how have you put up with him for so many years, yamato-taichō?</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>He’s very handsome, and I’m a little shallow.</p><p>
  <em>Kakashi loved “He’s very handsome, and I’m a little shallow.”</em>
</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>You think I’m handsome, Tenzō? 👀</p><p><b>Sasuke: </b>Gross. See you all at dinner. </p><hr/><p><b>Hatake Kakashi to Treefrog: </b>Send me a picture of u</p><p><b>Yamato to Hound Dog:</b> What kind of picture?</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> The regular kind. U can send me the other kind later. I’m in a meeting</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> I’ll take a picture of my face in a minute. Wait, are you texting during a Kage Summit?</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>A shinobi never reveals his secrets. Also yes</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> But only bc Mei started it by showing me a picture of the person she’s seeing. So now it’s show-and-tell time</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Ah. Should I have put on a shirt for that photo then?</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> Tyvm. I was seconds away from pulling your mission record file</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>I wouldn’t worry about the shirt. Mei says u have nice shoulders</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Tell her thanks. Shouldn’t you guys be busy running the government or something?</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Eh.</p><hr/><p><b>Hatake Kakashi to Leafyoncé: </b>konoha.shinobicraigslist.org/koh/pet/beautiful-german-shepard-needs-good-home/</p><p><b>Yamato to Kakash-ly Rowland:</b> Do you think that sending me listings for puppies every day will slowly convince me we should adopt one?</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>I have no control over what seeing dogs does to ur brain</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>But if u want a dog, I would fully support ur decision</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> I love your dogs. But there are eight of them already, Kakashi</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>They’re working dogs tho. Consider: a leisure dog</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>Do we have the capacity to give a puppy the love and attention it needs, with our current lifestyles?</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> Sure we do. “Doggy Style” was my nickname in Anbu</p><p>
  <em>Yamato (Leafyoncé) is typing…</em>
</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>I will not be accepting constructive criticism at this time</p><hr/><p><b>Yamato to Xeroxshi: </b>Kakashi. Don’t take this the wrong way…</p><p><b>Hatake Kakashi to Morning Wood: </b>Do we need to have another conversation about texting with ellipses? Also what am I taking </p><p><b>Yamato: </b>Why is Sasuke on our couch? </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>He’s sleeping</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>That really doesn’t answer my question. </p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> He’s tired?</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>Why is Sasuke sleeping on OUR couch and not his own bed or Naruto’s couch?</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Sasuke refuses to sign another lease after the bird incident and he and Naruto are fighting</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Not again. What is it this time? </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Naruto got the kids friendship bracelets</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>And???</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> Sasuke lost his on the outskirts of Iwa but he won’t tell Naruto that so he just told him friendship bracelets are for losers and children</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>Well. Normal for those two. He could just buy some new friendship bracelets and I’m sure Naruto would get over it. </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>That’s the fifth stage of grief. He’s still in the anger stage. Hence why we cannot wake him up from his nap</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>Sasuke has been in the anger stage for the 12 years. </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Accurate but unkind</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>I’ll give him a blanket and a discussion on healthy communication with your loved ones. </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>This is why ur his fave stepdad</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>If you’re Sasuke’s father in this situation, I should hope I’d be his ONLY stepdad. </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>He’s pretty set on Aoda being in the running</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Aoda is a snake!</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> And yet I somehow feel threatened by his parental authority</p><hr/><p><b>Yamato to HOTake Kakashi: </b>Are you still working?</p><p><b>Hatake Kakashi to 10/10zo: </b>Yeah. Mountains of paperwork ahead of me</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>What time will you be home? </p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> Probably at least another hour. There’s a backlog of new business requests that I should push through by the end of the week</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>Uncharacteristically timely. Shizune must be pleased.</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>I gave her the evening off. She’s too young to be working this much</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Isn’t she older than you?</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> I’m too young to be working this much</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>Seems like you’re due for some lengthy, enthusiastic relaxation.</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>That’s an interesting way to put it, but I suppose so</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>[<span class="u">Image Attachment</span>] 😝</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> Tenzō, I’m in my office 😳😳😳</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Maybe you should come home, then.</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> If u take down the Shunshin Barrier I will come in thirty seconds </p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Don’t you always?</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Why must u defame my character like this</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>Humility is a virtue.</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>[<span class="u">Image Attachment</span>] 🌶️</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>U raise a very compelling point. Let me in. I don’t have my keys</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Should you be Shunshin-ing and texting? </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Ur the one sending dick pics to the ninja president</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> …We all have our vices. </p><hr/><p><b>Uzumaki Naruto to Team Sakura Could Have Plans:</b> Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke says Yamato-taicho went shopping with him for new friendship bracelets yesterday bc u wanted him to leave ur apartment so u guys could kiss</p><p><b>Naruto:</b> r u and Yamato-taicho BOYFRIENDS</p><p><b>Sakura: </b>yes they are</p><p><b>Sai:</b> They have shown actions consistent with a romantic relationship. </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>I don’t understand the question</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> We’re roommates.</p><p><b>Naruto: </b>Roommates don’t KISS</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Sasuke’s over at your place right now and you’ve kissed him before</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> That tracks. </p><p><b>Sakura:</b> everyone’s kissed naruto at some point </p><p><b>Sai: </b>Is this part of your bond, Naruto?</p><p><b>Naruto:</b> THAT DOESN’T COUNT YANNO!!</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Who’s to say who can kiss their roommate or not? Things aren’t always so simple, Naruto. A shinobi must be able to see through deception </p><p><b>Yamato: </b>Kakashi is right.</p><p><b>Naruto:</b> what does that MEAN </p><p><b>Sasuke:</b> It means Kakashi likes the old man. </p><p>
  <em>Sakura emphasized “It means Kakashi likes the old man.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sai emphasized “It means Kakashi likes the old man.”</em>
</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> Hey! I’m not old. I’m three years younger than Kakashi.</p><p><b>Naruto: </b>so u ARE boyfriends</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Isn’t any man whose company I enjoy both a boy and a friend </p><p><b>Naruto: </b>well i guess</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> There you go</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>I think the situation has been adequately explained.</p><p><b>Sasuke: </b>Has it?</p><p><b>Sakura:</b> weren’t you both in anbu? shouldn’t your interrogation evasion techniques be better than this</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Eh. </p><hr/><p><b>Hatake Kakashi to Old Man Whose Company I Enjoy: </b>Come here</p><p><b>Yamato to Roommate-san: </b>Where’s here? </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>I’m on the roof. I want you to come look at the moon with me</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> I’m making dinner. For romance purposes or because it’s doing something it shouldn’t?</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Wouldn’t u like to know</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> It’s thrilling how you keep the mystery alive in this relationship. I’ll be up in a few minutes.</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> It’s a date</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>If you keep dating me in public places, people might think we’re more than roommates.  </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>By “people” do u mean four nosy teenagers? </p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>U’d think the single bedroom and legal certificates would be a give away</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> It does seem like it would be Shinobi 101. Should we be giving them basic training again?</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b> I would enjoy bringing out my old disguises </p><p><b>Yamato:</b> I’d say you were meant to be an actor, if you weren’t so good at being a ninja.</p><p><b>Kakashi:</b>Such a flatterer, Tenzō.Be still my beating parts</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>I don’t think that’s how the saying goes.</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>It is when ur quoting Icha Icha </p><p><b>Yamato:</b> How much do you let that book guide your relationship decisions?</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>69%</p><p><b>Yamato:</b> I walked right into that one. I’m bringing dinner up. Eggplant miso. 🍆</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>Thank u. And u know that’s not what that emoji’s for </p><p><b>Yamato: </b>What’s it for?</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>[<span class="u">Image Attachment</span>] 🍆</p><p><b>Yamato: </b>Ah. Do you think the Daimyō has access to our phones?</p><p><b>Kakashi: </b>God I hope so</p>
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